The time had come! I completed my latest manuscript and sent it off, after several weeks of pushing myself to (and sometimes beyond) my limits to get it done. I’d been living on coffee and sleeping very little, and had no time for extracurricular entertainment.
After I finished and caught up on some sleep, I was ready to binge watch a few of my favorite shows. Up first was Will & Grace, and I settled in for the three episodes I’d missed.
I hit play, and a TV-MA warning came up. Confused, I hit the back button, thinking I’d gone into the wrong show, but nope, the W&G logo came up. Hit play again. Halfway through the episode, I realized the reason for the mature audience warning, and I hit pause. This time, it was anger that removed me from the show, rather than puzzlement.
The incredible Samira Wiley had a guest arc on the show as Karen’s love interest, and in this particular episode, they shared a kiss. That’s it. Not a peck, but not a makeout session either. It lasted about two seconds, much shorter than many “straight” kisses on this and other shows that require no warning label.
A TV-MA warning is designated for specific situations involving one or a combination of three things: foul language, graphic violence, and graphic sexual activity.
How many shows come on tv where a man takes a woman in his arms and kisses her passionately? How many sitcoms show CIS-gender, heterosexual couples in bed together, indicating the beginning or ending of some steamy sex? And how often do those episodes get a warning for inappropriate content?
Hint: None of them.
I remember the original Will & Grace days, and all the frenzy about the “first gay kiss,” on a prime time network situation. That episode had the same warning label. I thought it was ridiculous back then, but I never imagined it would still be happening on this iteration of the show, all these years later.
It hit me hard. As a queer person in America, it’s a scary time. The current presidential administration is targeting our community. We are all watching and worrying as the people in power continue to debate whether we are going to have basic human dignities and rights. Hate crimes are on the rise, as bigots are being emboldened by the president. In the scheme of things, a mature audience warning seems like it’s the least of our troubles, but it is, in fact, a symbol of them.
I’m a lesbian and a mom, and my fiancee co-parents my sons with me. There are parents who think our presence at our sons’ lacrosse games, choir concerts, and bus drop-off is a threat to the sanctity of their “normal” families. We have relatives who don’t want us to hold hands in front of their children.
We are fighting for our rights in a country where many people would rather see us killed than allow us to keep our right to marry. This TV-MA is a way to further silence our voices, representing them as inappropriate for anyone to hear.
We are deemed unsuitable for regular audiences. We are Rated Queer.
That warning label is a symbol that indicates we are still miles and miles from mainstream equality and legitimacy.
This is part of the reason I write queer fiction: we all have something we can do to advocate, normalize, and just plain show up for the LGBTQ community. Some people are politically powerful, or in a position to influence hiring or living situations for people in societal margins. I protest, call and email my political representatives, vote, and tell my humble stories. We can all do something.
I’d love for the generations coming after us to not have to worry about who they love or how they identify regarding gender and sexuality. I want them to be themselves without having to wear the warning label that’s plastered on us today.
Nan Higgins 